and another in case it doesn’t rain. ~ Mae West . Well it’s that time again. At least I can’t blame my mum this time. This time it’s all my brother’s doing. This is some friend of my brother’s wife’s, brother thing. It gets really scary when it’s that many people removed from people I can actually trust. I can just hear the report on the news when I show up missing, “we aren’t sure who she was last seen with, I think it was the stepfather of her third cousin twice removed,” or some other red-neck sounding thing like that. The last guy I dated that was set up this way, I bought him a down jacket from the local outlet mall, I told him it perfectly matched his personality. He didn’t “get” it. Sometimes, I hate date night. I broke my standing rule too. He is taking me to dinner at some swanky reservations only restaurant. I hope he chews with his mouth closed, I somehow think if I look over at him lovingly and have to stab him with something, they probably won’t have a plastic spork anywhere within reach. I suppose I can bring my own…
The worst part about a blind first date at a fancy reservations only restaurant is you have to dress up. When I dress up, to hide those lines on my slinky cocktail dress I’ll probably wear spanks. (Spanks:) Have you ever worn them? They are wonderful for looking svelte, but you might as well forget eating or drinking much. Both of which kind of negate a first date at a posh restaurant. The eating relates to the restaurant, the drinking to the first date. The first time I wore a pair of spanks, I made the mistake of wearing them to a cocktail party at a friend’s house. I was surrounded by friends, oh and that one guy I was meeting for the first time, you know the poor soul picked to attend just to meet me? Luckily, all but THE guy know me and expect oddities in behavior here and there. To put Spanks on you practically have to lie on a bed and pull and wedge, grunt and coax them up. And I am terrible at consuming alcohol while wearing these things honestly. I guess since I have so little room inside, once I start to drink I fill up fast. It was okay the first few hours; I was the only one going to the bathroom. But by midnight, on my, I don’t know, twelfth or so visit, I ran out of luck. As I was struggling to pull the blasted things up I was groaning and grunting, maybe a little cursing as sweat popped out over my brow. When you’re in the midst of doing this, you aren’t listening to yourself, your just working, you know? Finally redressed, I walk out the door not only to find a line of three hugely smiling friends, but first in line is THE guy, with the oddest expression on his face. .. I wonder if its bad form to call tonight’s date and claim sick? I’m beginning to feel a case of the intentional flu.
Take from? Why not, at this point. When meeting someone for the first time, always be yourself, not some fake version of you. For one thing, it lets him see you as you truly are and there is no reason to keep up an artificial charade if there is a second date. Build a relation on an honest foundation and it creates a familiarity right from the start. Besides, sometimes it’s best to get the worse out there first because then things can only get better. Right? I hope that’s not famous last words..
Hat: House of Fox, Roller Hat <3
Hair: Tuty's, Bob
Glasses:House of Fox, 1960's glasses
Lipstick: Mons, LOVE!
Shoulder piece:House of Fox, Lita's shoulders
Belt: Anubis, Leather belt
Jacket: House of Fox, Scarlet Blazer
Shirt:House of Fox, Crop Corset
Skirt: Ricielli, Hi-Waist skirt, python
Shoos: [whatever], CG Spiked
Handbag: House of Fox, Steffani Lux tote