Sex.Love.And.Subtle.Lies.

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Half the lies they tell about me aren’t true~ Yogi Berra

Just a little bit of an observation blog today, I’ve been too busy with the Salimar Luxury District’s Grand Opening to take any blog pics, but somewhere in the middle of the night, the title of this blog whispered through my head. Naturally it’s made me contemplative about a few of the recent changes in my life, so I thought I’d spill it here in black and white.

Okay I admit it, I am a big chicken. I really am. Especially when it comes to virtual relationships. Maybe I am just not ready for the big leagues of online dating, but good golly Miss Molly, every time I turn around I hear on the news about another person meeting some psycho with bad intentions online. Second Life is no different for me, it’s enough to make me hide under a pixel rock and keep whispering to myself “are we there yet?” But honestly, I wonder often if we allow ourselves to believe the lies because we want so much for the love to be true? I think Barbara Bush hit it on the head when she was quoted, “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” Are we so desperate these days we choose to build a relationship on soft lies and veils of dishonesty?

Lies and Innuendo

So, in retrospect of past disasters that have befallen me, I post my, “tips to monitoring his/her veracity.” Listen to their words. Even habitual liars suffer from guilt or anxiety at times. They tend to cover their lies in a negativity. Do they use the words, hate, worthless, sad a lot? Does the person have an answer for everything? Did you know that zero hesitancy in answering an accusation is actually more likely to indicate a lie? Typically when you ask a question, a person has to think about, to form their answer. And most indicative of all? The person fails to talk in the first person. Generally when a person tells a lie they don’t use “I” because they are trying to distance themselves from ownership and responsibility of the lie. So don’t just listen to the conversation, listen to the individual words, or the spaces where nothing is said.

Take from? I suppose there is. We can spot a lie as it lies like a dog on our front doorstep, or we can choose to believe it the truth. Do you want to believe the lie that badly? I think it was best put by comedian Tim Allen when he said, “Men are liars. We’ll lie about lying if we have to. I’m an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.” It’s all about the receiver of the lies motivation for believing. Just something to ponder.

8 thoughts on “Sex.Love.And.Subtle.Lies.

  1. Lying is usually precipitated, unless it is habitual, create the right conditions and clear skies appear. No one can lie to us unless we are in denial, some of us would rather not know the truth. That’s a funny word truth. You have to back up and play with the idea of what is the difference between truth and fact. Two people may witness the same event, two sets of facts, but what is the truth, who is right and whose is wrong. We have to forget right and wrong and focus on the relationship, it is either worth keeping or not.

    1. I think we can be lied to but most times, you are right, it is our need to believe in the persons goodness that lets us fall into the trap of having the wool pulled over our eyes. I just think sometimes in vituality it is easier to hide these lies and some do.

      1. you are right, and sometime it can be pathological and you may be dealing with a psychopath, someone indifferent to your pain or the pain that their lies create.

      2. Thats true and it often seems the virtual world brings out a lot more of a persons psychopathic tendencies. But I also feel that many put up with a lot more lies, drama and pain then they would do if they were in real life, facing a real person and I don’t know why.

      3. In my personal experience I think you are mostly right, but I’ve friendships that aren’t a lie and I do know others who have crossed relationships over to the real so to them it was not a lie.

  2. While I can understand where the thread of reasoning is wending here, as I have personally been involved with an online sociopath…I also know the other side of virtual relationships.
    I met my husband in SL…neither of us were particularly looking for a relationship…it just happened. We were candid with one another, from the beginning, and things just flowed together. We went into this acknowledging that we are just beautifully flawed human beings negotiating our lives together. It is what works for us.
    It doesn’t matter if it is virtual or face to face…deceit exists everywhere. How many times have we read about the spouse who, even after 30 plus years of marriage, never suspected their husband/wife was an adulterer, serial killer, rapist, or just plain deviant. None of those deceptions were perpetrated online…that was a day to day, face to face, living deception.
    My take from this is…as my husband puts so well…we all marry strangers and we never truly know just how much we don’t know about that individual or shall never learn about them.
    Trust should never be blind.
    Another thought provoking beautifully composed piece. <3<3

    1. you are very right Xiu, it is what I mentioned to my friend Tock San. I have a few friends, you, Wren, Mila (I think) who have found love this way. But from what I hear from so many others, the other element is a little more popular. Which is sad honestly. Just treat people the way you want to be treated, for the love of pete! (not you, them). Thank you for your thought provoking response, I too am of the school that if its meant to be, it will.

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