I really want to thank so many of you, for stopping from your busy lives and wishing me well with Jay. I often wonder if I impart too much information here, but people seem to be receptive, so thank you for putting up with me sorting out my personal life out in the open like this. You all are so supportive and inventive with your thoughts and ideas, so from my heart I thank you all! I am at a bit of a fork in the road honestly. You know that point in a relationship, in my case six weeks in, where you start to think about dating exclusively? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like my front door is a revolving door of men going in and out, I already date him exclusively but without that particular word attached at the end. Is dating exclusively something normal people just take for granted? Because to me, all I can think about is having someone’s germy toothbrush next to mine in the bathroom, his dirty clothes in a heap next to mine, or letting him put a few of his clothes in my knickers drawer. To me, letting someone in my personal space feels like ripping your shirt off in public for all the world to see. All that comingling is enough to make the germ-a-phobe in me bleach down my condo and change the locks to create a more sterile environment.
I don’t know what’s the matter with me. He’s a great guy, heck I’ve only had to stab him with the plastic spork one time and it was an accident…. mostly. When he reached across the table I thought he was going to filch a taste of my brownie ala mode, so I stabbed him, turns out he was reaching across with a napkin because I dribbled the chocolate sauce on the front of my shirt. I don’t know what it is about me that brings out the mother in people. I guess it’s just because those who know me always know the next mishap is just around the corner. Do I regret stabbing him? No, not really. It kind of got it out of the way; he knows to be faster next time. I know I should be excited and thrilled our relationship is evolving, but to be honest it’s actually sending me spiraling into a full-blown panic attack. You know the kind, acute pain radiates from the chest to the face, the fingers tingle and you really think you may be having a heart attack? Not fun, thank goodness it only occurs in extreme moments in time and praise the Lord and pass the Xanax, I always say. But truly, I am only half kidding, I mean serious, half serious.
Take from? Certainly! I am a Cao after all. In Life, every once in a while you will come to a fork in the road and a decision will need to be made. When it’s a relationship decision, sometimes instead of making a decision based on all the relationships you’ve failed in the past, your best decision is reached by going with your emotional or gut instinct. More often than not, that niggling feeling already knows where this is heading; it’s just waiting for your brain to catch up. Because gee, if I had made this decision when my brain had made the decision, I’d have locked my front door the moment he smiled at me and said “hallo” and that’s said only partly in gest.
Hairsticks: [Mandala], Rushana chopsticks
Hair: Miamai, Hina updo
Skirt: *SoliDea FoliEs*, Angels **NEW***** (the entire gown is to die for!) Taxi:
House: [BA], South Beach Penthouse ❤ **Collabor88** Only 188L’s! Taxi: