Walls, we all have them and I’m not just talking about the ones we reside in. Though, come to think of it, we do reside in emotional walls too, don’t we? Some days I have enough barbs I think I must be a prickly pear of sorts. How can we not with so many ego-centric people picking at our sore parts our entire lives, at some point, some form of self-protection has to kick in or life will mow you over and discard you to the wayside. Walls are our way of not facing our problems and they take on a bigger meaning because they involve the exertion of energy to such a point we stockade our feelings, thoughts and behaviors as a means of protecting ourself from the possible rejection, hurt, and abandonment coming from someone else. After a while, people become so good at erecting emotional walls that it’s a natural, subconscious occurrence. But is this really a good thing?
These walls that are built to protect our gooey and soft souls also keep us from forming deep emotional ties and relationships. And to be honest, your not really fooling anyone. If you are looking at a person while you speak to them, they can see these walls locking into place, even if you have a smile on your face. Walls are learned reactions though, so they can be unlearned with a little self-care. I can’t sugarcoat it, unlearning is difficult, but what you have to realize is that no one has the ability to hurt you. Be mindful of your reaction to people when they don’t behave the way you want them to. It’s not their behavior that hurts; they are reacting in the manner they were raised, its their not meeting your expectations that hurts you. Change your reaction, I’d say almost forgive them a little and it will give control of your feelings about the situation back to you, you become less involved in their affect on you. If you feel the walls going up anyway and can’t stop them, you can always take a breather. Find a place in your home, car, mancave and make it a sacred place for you. Fill it with pieces and momentos of you, music, art, photo’s, or in my case books and that way when someone is pushing all those buttons that inflict emotional pain, you can go to this safe place and reflect, pull close and cherish those things that make you so perfectly you, be surrounded by happy, mundane things that show, no matter what someone says to you, you are a person who is approved and loved. Because you are. Sure that person, doesn’t go away, but each new time you face them, it should become easier because you always affirm that you are okay, you don’t need walls, because you are not their words for you, you are perfectly you.
Take from? Of course! When you finally “get” that no one can hurt, anger, upset, or offend you without your permission, you also understand that you get to choose who you allow into your space and when. You get to decide. You! More than this, when you know that you can be fully yourself and still be able to say yes or no to what you do want or what you don’t want, you gain a sense of self-efficiency that transforms your everyday living into a powerful display of what it means to be who you are, and without apology. You have every right to be you. Amazing right? Somewhere, we learned that it was unsafe to be the real us. Somehow, we’ve got to unlearn that and teach ourselves how to be who we are and know that we are always safe and secure. Because we are okay, with or without these people that give us the urge to become builders of walls. Just some random thoughts on a hot date Friday! Take em for what they are worth to you. I hope you all have some fun plans for the weekend too!
Outfit: Elysium, Geometica corsage and hot pants ❤ LOVE! http://maps.secondlife.com/secondlife/Stylora%20Island/42/124/47
Bag: Baiastice: Pida, Ice
Hairs: Aibeat, *Colin*
Hat: *SoliDea FoliEs*, SoliDea head piece ❤
Nails: [Mandala], Kabuki nails silver
Boots: [DD], High Elegance Boots
Makeups: Mons, just buy them all already! ❤
Poses: Del May