Just A Girl

Just a GirlHandbag: BeLod, Classic Clutch **Exclusively at The Couturier’s Dock so runnnn* . Hair: Boudoir, Baroque .

There was a time in my life when “just a girl” was enough. I suppose education brings a little more self-confidence because I haven’t been just a girl in a long while. What caused the transformation? My last few years of college and a bit after graduation I was dating a man who seemed perfect. Perfect if you were on the outside looking in that is. The sad part is emotionally controlling boyfriends are every bit as scary as physically abusive ones. I am sure plenty of you have met or dated this kind of guy. At first his attention is flattering, but over time you begin to notice the attention is focused more on CONTROLLING you than loving you. You know the little signs, calling or texting to check up on you, showing up where you are uninvited, alienating you from your friends, he has to make all the big decisions, and most important, he is never at fault. Yeah, that guy (or girl).

Just A GirlGown: *LpD*, DAMA **Exclusive for Avenue Fashion Week-Soon Available** . Necklace/Earrings: Pure Poison, Tomnia **Exclusive for The Couturier’s Dock runnn** . Shoos: Gos, Grace .

I have to be honest, after a few years of that, I am actually lucky I even graduated. I was such a basketcase I couldn’t figure what I even wanted anymore, I mean, he told me when we graduate, we are going to get married. It’s not like I had a choice any longer, right? How did a basically self-loving high esteem me get to this state? Honestly? I still don’t know. Only thing I can reckon is something in my life weakened me for just the blink of an eye and he insiduously worked his way in. But luckily what he didn’t count on was those girlfriends he so astutely alienated me from? My once a month “girls night out” posse? They didn’t take this sitting down, one tough intervention, and several years of forgiving myself later, “here I are.” I may be just a Cao, but never again will I be just a girl.

Take from? Yeah, I need to. A relationship shouldn’t change who you are, especially when you’re already a happy person. You should be the only person with the power to change who you are. Reflecting on this all these years I realize, if you are a strong, secure person, at odd times you may start to feel a bit weird about how you can never be correct in much of anything around this person, especially if it is a topic that the person feels confident of knowing. Those little niggling feelings? Listen to them; they are there to guide you. If you don’t listen to them now, in a decade or so you might be a former shadow of the person you were supposed to become. Don’t let that happen to you. Because I kinda like the you that you are, all on your own.

13 thoughts on “Just A Girl

  1. Yup, I know this so so well, your story sounds just like mine :/ Sadly it took me 10 years to get out of that sort of a relationship. At the end of it I couldn’t as much as hammer a nail into a wall without self-doubt and I used to be someone who figured out how to fix broken TVs at age 16, paint, build and do anything to do with creative and hands on.

    Undermining someone’s self-worth and self-confidence is such an insidious thing, it just creeps up on you and before you know it you’re lost. But on the positive side, I’ve learnt!!! I’ve never fallen into that trap again. I now have a controlling/jealous person radar that let’s me smell, see, feel, intuit them at an instant and oddly enough not one has come near me since. They leave me alone now. I probably have the ‘don’t ever mess with me again’ scent on me and they smell it. So yay for us sister :)))

    1. You’re back! You’re back! I hope you had a gorgeous time and few clothes were needed!! And I’m sorry about the bad relationship, it’s a lot more common than most think, I believe. I am just happy you are out, you are in love, and you have a man who respects and loves you just as you are. Have a gorgeous weekend! ❤

      1. yessss, i’m back and i/we had the absolute best time. lovely people, great food, 458794579 fruit juices and and and…. :))) catch you soon gorgeous you and have a wonderful weekend ❤

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