I oft wonder the sensibilities of a virtual lover and why one would choose to partake and another would not. Perhaps it is the isolation and loneliness that inhabits us with the nomadically spreading of the world. Typically in generations past families didn’t sprawl quite so far from one another, and here I have a sister in Kentucky, one in Wyoming and a brother in Florida, but certainly not in the same city where I reside. I wonder if this longing for virtual flesh is actually a searching for home. All creatures are drawn to beauty, the only difference the individuals definition of what is beauty. I saw a picture today and it set within me a longing with a keenness and poignant passion, a kind of breathless awe even, which suggested that beneath the longing to possess and be possessed by beauty there lies a longing to be known by another fully and humanly. Something of it struck some deeply hidden chord within my soul, making me yearn for, what? I’m not sure. But I do have to wonder perhaps the crux of this need for possession is the need to no longer travel and search, to find the place at last, where I fully belong. A home.
If home is a place where we fully know and are fully known and understood; where we find peace, rest, acceptance, where all seems right, how come the most we can expect from it is something fleeting and transitory? Because though it give us our happiest moments on Earth, at other segments the loved ones depart to manage their business or private affairs, care for other loved ones, another bill comes due, our budgets needs readjusting, unexpected expenses arise, or we lose our employment. So then, in a virtual affair, isn’t it plausible that much of its ethereal success is it seldom becomes mired in the day to day mundane complications of employee attrition, budgets and any of the multitudes of routine inconveniences which naturally befall someone during a life time?
Take from? For the first time in a long time, no I don’t think I have one. While I was watching the world today I saw a picture, a beautiful picture, it sent my senses careening, nudging some deeply hidden memory within me, so I stopped to think. In the thoughtfulness I realized, the emotions that arise when I can’t hang on to scattered moments of beauty forever could only be described as… homesickness.