The Poignant Longing for Beauty

I oft wonder the sensibilities of a virtual lover and why one would choose to partake and another would not. Perhaps it is the isolation and loneliness that inhabits us with the nomadically spreading of the world. Typically in generations past families didn’t sprawl quite so far from one another, and here I have a sister in Kentucky, one in Wyoming and a brother in Florida, but certainly not in the same city where I reside. I wonder if this longing for virtual flesh is actually a searching for home. All creatures are drawn to beauty, the only difference the individuals definition of what is beauty. I saw a picture today and it set within me a longing with a keenness and poignant passion, a kind of breathless awe even, which suggested that beneath the longing to possess and be possessed by beauty there lies a longing to be known by another fully and humanly. Something of it struck some deeply hidden chord within my soul, making me yearn for, what? I’m not sure. But I do have to wonder perhaps the crux of this need for possession is the need to no longer travel and search, to find the place at last, where I fully belong. A home.

The Poignant Longing for BeautyHairs: Vanity Hair, The Meadow **NEW** . Necklace: Pure Poison, Lady Fly Necklace .

If home is a place where we fully know and are fully known and understood; where we find peace, rest, acceptance, where all seems right, how come the most we can expect from it is something fleeting and transitory? Because though it give us our happiest moments on Earth, at other segments the loved ones depart to manage their business or private affairs, care for other loved ones, another bill comes due, our budgets needs readjusting, unexpected expenses arise, or we lose our employment. So then, in a virtual affair, isn’t it plausible that much of its ethereal success is it seldom becomes mired in the day to day mundane complications of employee attrition, budgets and any of the multitudes of routine inconveniences which naturally befall someone during a life time?

The Poignant Longing for BeautyDress: AD Creations Dollhouse, Why **The Couturier’s Dock** . Shoos: BSD, SuperModel **L’Accessoires** .

Take from? For the first time in a long time, no I don’t think I have one. While I was watching the world today I saw a picture, a beautiful picture, it sent my senses careening, nudging some deeply hidden memory within me, so I stopped to think. In the thoughtfulness I realized, the emotions that arise when I can’t hang on to scattered moments of beauty forever could only be described as… homesickness.

16 thoughts on “The Poignant Longing for Beauty

  1. Hmmmm…for me, home hasn’t any such links….home is my ballast…the truest sense of who I am…home hasn’t any connection with a person, place or thing…rather, it is my connection with the the deepest core of my soul/spirit. I learned many moons ago…that attaching “home” with external ephemera…is fleeting at best. Not everyone is blessed with the anchor of a “family”…my home resides in the connection I make with my soul. My husband is a gift and a blessing to my home. ❤ ❤

    1. XIU, I think you hit it on the nail — those were my thoughts as I read that particular piece. I have been very fortunate to have the love and support, the anchor of a family, though many times I have still felt alone and having a sense of not belonging. I finally concluded that belonging is within. Thanks for reminding me of that too.

      1. Oh nooooo…as much as it causes consternation for me…I also understand that everyone has their own interpretation of reality/home…dammit. Now, where are my knickers…smh….they’re around here somewhere.

  2. This was very stirring to my senses, striking a chord in me. I just find myself a bit befuddled in knowing what I want to say, so instead I’ll say nothing at all. 🙂

      1. No tricks here. 🙂 I was just telling someone the other day, that lately I just don’t have the need to be so expressive about everything. Perhaps it was many years of journaling my emotions, feelings, and what I did that day, that it finally wore me down to not really feeling the need to be so talkative. Maybe I’m just worn out again. 🙂

        A Cao not speaking, erm.. wouldn’t be a Cao.

  3. That’s a very sweet compliment. I’ll take it. 🙂
    Especially, when my brain is a bit mush today. I’ve been trying to find something for the last hour that was staring me in the face.. let me just say I hate excel.

  4. I don’t know about all virtual relationships, but in mine (which I consider successful) all of the things that interfere in a RL relationship insert their way into our virtual one. They just happen in two places, rather than one.

    But we share those things, and having that special someone to help bear the burden makes it a little easier to handle. A problem shared is a problem halved.

    I made a choice to never get involved in a RL relationship again. But I still need the love and support of another human being. That our virtual relationship spills into real life just makes it all the more special. Yes, I miss the touch of a hand, the warmth of a smile, the simple sharing of everyday chores, but I know that I have someone who cares for me, loves me and gives me the sense of home – that resides in my heart – that I crave.

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