Loving One’s Self

Loving One's SelfPhotographs by: Logan McMahn

I love the quote “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance” by Oscar Wilde. First of all, thank you to all the veteran’s who have fought for me so I can sit in front of a laptop and type away, your sacrifice has not gone unnoticed. Even though its a holiday, and no work for me, I am feeling a little high gravity on this Monday. Due to this, I want to blog lightly with pixel dust and pink sparkly glitter. Ah, I’ve digressed, I know for so many of us, especially women, it’s hard to put down all those ugly adjectives when we think of ourselves and our bodies, so on this day, let’s declare a moratorium, our own veteran’s day of sorts. We’ve spent our life time fighting how we look, let’s retire and embrace all that makes us uniquely us. Go look in the mirror and visually remove all those labels, feel them fall away to shatter on the floor “big nose” *crash*, “small lips” *crash*, “fat” *crash*, “too thin” *crash*, “too pale” *crash*, “too dark” *crash*. Look at your face, not your labels, just your face, with the criticism and judgment gone, can you see the beauty the world sees? Never measure self, base your body confidence, on another’s opinion because dimes to donuts their notions come preconceived with all the baggage they’ve picked up along the way. Typically when I come around one of these soul sucking people, I sit myself in front of a mirror and listen to all the things they said rolling around in my head and to each comment I simply say “I don’t care” with a smile on my face. And you know what? At some point, I know it’s true. I really don’t care about this persons opinion and in all honestly I feel sorry for them that they have to live with their own miserable ways. Besides most people experienced chronic emotional invalidation growing up but in that regard, as adults we shouldn’t expect others to validate who we are, only we can do that.

Loving One's Self

Look around, there are a lot of what would be not traditionally beautiful celebrities who rock sexy gorgeousness. How? Because being sexy and being beautiful are attributes born on the inside. A lot of what is appealing to others oozes from your soul. It’s that moment in time when you realize, I am not only lovable, I am confident that I am a desirable person as well. This new found confidence adds a sexy inner glow to you but the trick is getting there, right? If you had a friend who was feeling sad or unloved, you’d cheer her up wouldn’t you? Why would you not cheer yourself up? I still have my little post-it reminders on my bathroom mirror. You know the ones, “you are sexy,” “you look gorgeous today” because at times I get so stuck in the mundane I forget to thank myself for being me. Think about it, when we are in a loving relationship, no one is perfect so don’t we settle for a lover “as is?” We accept the bad because we love the good. Shouldn’t we extend the same kindness to ourselves? Shouldn’t you treat yourself the same as you would your best friend? I think so, because you are the only friend you will have your entire life.

Take from? Yep, it’s here. We spend so much time waiting to be loved, hoping love will find us, searching for a special love. We often feel empty and lost without it. We believe someone will give us love and complete us. Unfortunately, that’s not usually how life works. We cannot be loved until we learn how to love. As for me, this morning I tossed all my post-it notes because it’s time to update. Just as relationships and friendships change, soften, with time, so does our love for ourselves. Grabbing five more, today I will write five positive words that describe me and repost them to the mirror. Not only does it make me spend time thinking of me, it enforces what I know is true. I’m ok and life is good.

Outfit:

Beret:[Ink], Felting Beret
Hair:
Scarf: Drift, Chunky Scarf **NEW**
Jacket: Drift, City Coat **NEW**
Pants: Drift, Weekend Jeans

31 thoughts on “Loving One’s Self

  1. Ma petite vache…
    You are too au fait. I love the ebb and flow…the river of consciousness that gathers all your lovely prose in each post and feeds into the ocean of life that connects every soul you touch.

    You have post-its and I have a very old song from Grace Jones…back in 1977 she did a cover of La Vie en Rose. She took on the song that is a beloved classic…best known as sung by Edith Piaf; whom I also adore. Edith sang the song with every fiber of her being…with all of her pain and her heart…every time she would bring the audience to their knees; with not a dry eye in the house. Grace restyled it and sang it with joy and up tempo…showing her boldness, her sexuality…her strength in owning herself. So each time I would get to that terrible place where something would weigh on me…I would play this song and sing with Grace…eyes closed and heart open….just something about this song and the way Grace sings it…just always makes me feel free, hopeful and full of joy. The words take on a totally different timber sung by Grace…they are as androgynous, bold and fearless as she is…they are no longer just about how the love of someone else makes you feel…they are about how love in general makes you feel…including discovering the love of oneself.

    So I leave you with my own special ear worm…(I hope the link works)

    Thank you for another thought provoking, heartfelt piece of prose…La Vie en Rose. ❤ ❤

  2. Good evening beautiful 🙂 loved the words today, I’m playing catch up from my trip, but one things for sure hate the labels and any post that embraces the belief of loving ones self for the natural radiate shine we all have underneath all the “stuff” makes me smile and proud to call you friend.
    Much love
    Benjamin

  3. After many years of self loathing and wondering just what in the hell was wrong with me, I finally saw it………Nothing was wrong with me. I don’t have a perfect shape, I don’t have a bright and bubbly personality, I know people who have had similar Life experiences, but not one person has walked even a single mile in my shoes. About 10 years ago is when it hit me, and I love the person I have become. I accept all my flaws, and for those that don’t, well then they can’t see past their own perception and I will still love me. I don’t really need post its to remind me and It does not matter where I have been or what transpired then, it only matters where I go and who I decide to take with me. Love your words today Cao, a little close to home but you are uncanny like that. Lets walk awhile together ❤

      1. Thank you Doll face, there are places from my past I would never take you, because I myself no longer visit there. I closed the door a long time ago”Closed hell, I slammed that Biotch” I leave the past where it is but I am so happy to call you friend in the present, and would love to have you walk along side me for whatever time our paths run parallel. I am always as honest as I can be without sharing too much, But if I can impart any wisdom from what I have seen felt or experienced and someone learns anything from it, then I have most assuredly evolved completely from that younger less strong version of me and have purpose.

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