Dark Cluttered Mind

Dark Cluttered MindChair: *Art Dummy!, Bare Chair **NEW** . Hat: .Shi, Emperium . Hairs: Tuty’s, Mathilda Bob . Hands: Slink .

There was another school shooting in the United States yesterday. What a baffling and confusing world we live in today. So many conflicting ideas and concepts are thrust upon us from every direction and many of them seem directly contradictory. Authorities of equal regard tell us one thing and then another and what they say clashes violently. It;s hard to know what to believe anymore, one need only sit shivering in the wind thinking about global warming to know what I mean. But seriously, this isn’t about weather phenomena, it’s about life. The dark spaces between the light, the knowing, feeling, your life is sitting on some huge precipice edging towards tumbling off into unknown emptiness.

Dark Cluttered MindJacket: VoguE, Whitney . Pants: VoguE, Riley .

Do you have these moments in life? I sit quietly off on my own, telling my soul to be still and wait for this unknown. I try to hope for a favorable outcome, but not wanting to be disappointed, it seems I must wait with no hope a’tall. It brings to mind T.S. Eliot when he pens in East Coker (from the Four Quartets) “there is yet faith. But the faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting… So the darkness shall be the light, and the stillness the dancing.” I’m dark today, I know, but dang it all, children should be allowed to attend school without the fear of being killed. It’s senseless, we come home and rant and rave about all the injustices and unfairness that have befallen us during the day, ignoring what we are teaching our children about how to react to life’s disappointments. Instead of coping with our lives, we medicate it, liquor it up, angrify it and take it out on all those within earshot. No wonder we have children who grow up to think it’s OK to take it out on others. Where has empathy gone? What of kindness? Are they just some dusty words left unused in the hallway closet? Wake up, for the love of pete! Because the next school just might be your childs.

Take from? I know, I went too far, who the ‘ell am I to say anything a’tall? Here I preach, not a child in sight except my godchild the little pirate princess. But as I set still, in the quietness, on the precipice, trying to let go of all the things I know. I confront reality, in the hopes that in my ignorance I will lose my pre-conceived notions about what keeps transpiring and somewhere in the experience I will find true reality, true solutions. Someone, please, find true solutions. Please let it be time.

14 thoughts on “Dark Cluttered Mind

  1. Yes a sad thing indeed Cao. I don’t know what is going on with children today, It is such a different world now than when I was going to School. I don’t even know how to comment on events like this, but your words are so moving yet again. People often say “I never saw it coming” is that because they weren’t looking. love you bunches

    1. I hear you Mera, just not sure it would work. A new way of thinking needs to come first. Because an unreasonable person won’t care if the weapon he is using to kill his classmates is legal or not bc they typically kill themselves too.

      1. I don’t know if it’s strictly a US phenomena, I can only relate that which is around me. But yes, thats exactly what I was saying anyway, the culture needs to be changed. It is our culture that draws people to own weapons. A friend once offered to purchase me a handgun for safety. I am alone quite a lot, so I did think about it seriously for a few days. But at the end knew if someone were to break in my home I’d be more likely to throw the gun at them than to shoot them, so I passed. *tucks knife back under mattress and sets alarm*

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