It’s better to want what you don’t have than to have what you don’t want. ~Unknown
Headpiece: Glam Affair, Bohemian Romance **Collabor88** . Hair: Boon . Jewelry: [Mandala], Polly . Eyeliner: Glam Affair, Embellished liner .
I have a friend, heck a besty actually, who is currently going through a life crisis, I see it, but don’t want to get in her way as she figures it out for herself (as we all should do), so I will just post some thoughts here in the hope there is something useful for her in the writing. Obviously we don’t have control over all aspects of our life, but as I said yesterday we do have free will and that actually allows us to exert at least a little bit of influence on many things. Every choice we make matters, and deep in our intuitive gut, we know it. This thought that every thing is a major choice certainly explains why I torture myself over what I am going to eat for dinner, no? If we have so much angst on where to eat or what to wear, why do we consistently sell ourselves short in the choices we make in relationships? Isn’t this the single most important decision we will make in our life-time? Seems a lot of things stem from this choice, children, family, retirement. I mean, I am no spiritual genius, but dimes to donuts I’d bet all these bad choices are grounded, not in love, but in our fear of being alone. Don’t get me wrong, sometimes you have to settle for less, always getting your way tends to be impossible. Think about it, who wants to be a raging narcissist in a colony of narcissist’s? Nothing would ever get done. But how do we help our selves to understand our own needs?
I think first we need to understand we can choose a less than perfect scenario without it being settling. Whats the difference? By choosing, you are the driver of your own destiny, by settling you feel you had no choice, though deep inside, that niggling little gut feeling is going to fester and grow because likely you won’t be happy with the outcome. I reckon it’s kinda like when your date asks you where you want to go eat and you say “you decide.” You settled for not making a choice, so you don’t get to be disappointed when he chooses a restaurant with a lot of scantily clad chicks passing out chicken wings and beer. You may have felt you had no choice, but you did, you chose not to choose. Take a moment and think about it, how often have you chosen to “settle” for things in your life as opposed to choosing them? Certainly sometimes a lack of resources may be involved, but if it wasn’t, would any of those choices have a different outcome?
What’s the solution? I think the take from is simple. Being able to say, “I may want to do this, but I need to do that,” is the foundation of shifting your outlook towards a healthier inner self. Take time to reflect upon what really matters in your life. Though every single choice you make has the power to force you to change the direction of your life, some choices are far more significant. Ending the chaos created by settling for less begins by taking the moment to decide the difference between what you want and what you need in your life. Simply always going for what you want (I want someone in my life) is often a path riddled with disillusionment because we seldom truly get all we want nor is it often even what we truly needed (but do I really need someone less than perfect right now?). On the other hand, choosing what you need is a far deeper soul search and tends to help us to discover our greatest talents because it demands the most of us to fulfill. How often do people who are happy, satisfied, and living purposefuly say, “I would never have chosen this, but I am so glad I’m here.” Quite alot, I’d say. But, well, as for me, I’d settle for a man that would pump my gas for me. Man, I hate having to do that. A little high gravity for a Tuesday, but just a little something to think about.