Fashion should be a form of escapism, and not a form of imprisonment. ~Alexander McQueen
Denial is an outright refusal to admit or recognize that something has occurred or is currently occurring. Heck, as humans it’s one of our best known defense mechanisms. It functions to protect our ego from things we can’t cope with. While this may save us pain or anxiety, it also requires an awful lot of energy. Especially in those moments in our lives when we turn to escapism to salve over the hidden pain of our denial of what’s really eating us in real life. You know those moments, the times we spend too much time in Second Life, or any other of the sundry of online games out there. Sitting in front of a TV or computer so long you feel like you’ve melted into the furniture. The point where when you finally do log off, you aren’t very happy, well perhaps you’re superficially happy, but if you’d scratch the surface a little deeper you’d realize, over all your current lifestyle isn’t very meaningful in the grand scheme of things or remotely close to where you dreamt you’d be at this age back when you were 12 or 13.
Why do we do this anyway? Are we a society who runs from real world financial difficulties, loneliness, bad relationships, crappy parents, ugly childhoods, our fears? By escaping we rob ourselves of psychological maturity and wisdom because it’s only with dealing with the reality of our lives that we gain understanding and wisdom. Besides, when you turn off whatever your crutch is for the night, the reality is still there, waiting for you and unfortunately just like the other “crutches” we use in our lives, pain medications, alcohol, drugs, sex, this form of escapism as a psychological addiction is no less addictive than the others. Look around, psychological escapisms destroy just about as many relationships, marriages and families as substance abuse. Don’t get me wrong, too much involved in anything can be a bad thing. Just don’t for a second fool yourself into believing psychological addictions are safer.
Why here, why now? The class is still out on this one but I suppose it’s because I just found out there was a campaign to annihilate the perfectly good word “bossy” to affect a change in our culture, which they claim undermines girls who exhibit leadership skills by labeling them negatively. To me the most stunning fact is the campaign is spearheaded by two women who lead, so somehow they lived with this “stigma” yet were able to worked past it enough to become a COO (of Facebook), and another who is the CEO (of the Girl Scouts of America). Oh the barbarity, the abuse, how did they survive it all and not become escapists and live in total denial of their bossiness? The point? Reality sucks at times, not just for you, but for me, and her, and him too. The point is, we all have labels, we all have guilt, fears, pains, we shouldn’t have to remove all negative connotations from the dictionary because in reality, the words wouldn’t really be gone, we would still “know” them. Just like all those other slang nasty pairings of words, being out of print doesn’t make them gone, it just moves them underground, whispered stealthily as you walk by. And dimes to donuts, it’s going to suck a ‘ell of a lot longer if you don’t face and come to some terms with whatever it is you are hiding from and when you do finally log off and face it, well, who knows, you just might gain a little wisdom, self esteem and might I even add happiness, to boot. But, that’s just my take on it, use it for whatever it’s worth to you, quite possibly that’s not an awful lot. I’m just being a little bossy, it’s a high gravity Monday after all.