I get asked all the time what it’s like to be a
narcissistic, ego-centric, self-indulgent well-known super model in a Second World because the life seems so glamorous to those on the outside looking in. It’s truly not as elegant as it seems. I mean, imagine going to McDonalds and wanting to purchase one of those mega-fries, giant soda meals that has the really big deep-fried chicken sandwich, you know the one, it has cheese and bacon, a ton of dressing. Oh! and it must be healthy because there’s a tomato and lettuce on it, but you have to settle for the chicken Cesar salad minus anything remotely Cesar. (minus the chicken, croutons, and dressing aka plain lettuce. Keep up! I tend to talk fast!) Models have to live in harsh circumstances. Just imagine arriving at a club with five of your besty’s and as you land the centrifugal force of all of your gazillion prims and bling creates a gravitational suction similar to a black hole and every item you are wearing and the entire sim get’s sucked into said black hole until everything around you crashes. I can’t make this stuff up. Or imagination being on the receiving end of all the haters who have something against ridiculously, ridiculously good looking people. (yeah totally filched that from Zoolander).
And the job, yikes! I mean, just how elegant and sexy can you be while trying to entice people to purchase clothes while you teeter-totter haphazardly on the back of camel? I tell you, this job is tough! Just yesterday I was doing a shoot at Baja Norte, the typical “summers around the corner” beach attire and it must have been, I don’t know, maybe 10 degrees out there. How do you possibly look warm and inviting when your goose bumps have goose bumps? The worst part? The
masochistic, sadist photographer (yeah, I know the photographer is actually me, it’s called creative license, OK?) demanded I stand out on an abutting rock to look like I was meditating lovingly at the ocean (either that or waiting for my ship to come in). So as I did my best meditating modeling job, fingers creating quotes here, “ever” the wave from ‘ell. Oh wait I can do better, this vindictively frigid and humongous wave delivered personally by Satan (there, nailed it!) chooses to swell up forcefully and knock me off my perch, designer clothes and all. I don’t know what was worse, the frigid water, the ruined shoos, or masochistic, sadist photographer sitting there comfy and dry laughing her arse off at me. Uff! So next time you think, hey! I wanna try that modeling gig? Take it from a Lil Cao, run. Run very far, far away. Just say no!
The take from? It’s not easy being cheesy. Oh wait, the real one? No, I don’t think I am some glam “super model” in a virtual reality planet. Like all of you, I’m just a me. A me, that’s so glad I have friends like each of you. I hope your week shapes up a little bit better than mine started! If the weathers not right in your corner of the world, check out some of the inworld ones, like Baja Norte, I sware you can almost feel the sun as it burns your face, the crabs that nip your toes, and the sand that continually gravitates up your legs to create a sandbag in the bottoms of your swimsuit. Now see? doesn’t that make everything just a little bit brighter?
Check it! ❤