Carve your name on hearts, not tombstones. A legacy is etched into the minds of others and the stories they share about you. ~ Shannon L. Alder
I have an Internet friend whom I simply adore because she is so unlike any single human being I have ever met. She’s funny, an excellent mother to her two sons, a supportive wife and an avid blogger/pole dancer/insert many a sundry of other labels here. I was introduced to her through another blogger and the moment I landed at her homepage I was hooked. Like so many of us she suffers from a personal myopia, when she measures herself to others she always seems to find herself as falling short of the par. ‘ell on my best days I reckon I identify with her too, I do have a sister who is a Doctor, remember? You know the sister, the two states away sister who my father once, only partially in gest, commented “your sister was perfect, but it kinda went down hill from there.” I’m the baby, so just imagine how the chit at the bottom of the ladder felt. But the thing is, It doesn’t really matter if I am an astronaut or a garbage truck driver, what matters in life is whether I was raised to be a successful human being. After all, we can’t choose our children’s occupations, but we can make sure they are happy, feel like they are as important as the one at the top, and know that no matter what they do in life, no matter how bad they mess up, they are loved. Because no child is the same as another, and a six or seven year old is far from the child they will become at 18 to 21 years old but by planting the seed of family, loving and nurturing it’s roots as they grow, allowing them to find their own way, you can be assured that no matter the outcome of the child, you, the mother have measured up to and perhaps in most cases surpassed all that any other mother has done. Because you gave them the biggest gift a parent can give, the gift of finding their own way while creating a home filled with love and the building blocks of self esteem.
The take from? I know how hard it is to love yourself, we all have frailties and awkward thoughts about ourselves. I’m probably at the top of that list. But always remember, others may look at you and measure themselves to you and find in themselves something lacking and it just becomes this vicious cycle of womanhood. I think what we need to do as women is put down our goal of constantly seeking perfection, in ourselves, in our children, in our love lives. Put it down and accept, no, to actively look and see, that what we really have is a well lived in life and body, some of us with active inquisitive children, some of us without, we have comfortable friends, perhaps a lover, but in all cases we are blessed with a vast and wonderfully colorful array of family and friends, from the talented and successful to the ones struggling just to get somewhere. And the important part is, it’s this embracing non-sameness that makes our lives the beautiful tapestry of a story, our story, that weaves in and out of the hearts of each of these people and in it’s telling, it becomes our legacy.