I do not trust people who don’t love themselves and yet tell me, ‘I love you.’ There is an African saying which is: Be careful when a naked person offers you a shirt.” ~Maya Angelou
Falling in love is one of the most enlivening experiences in our life. It’s risky and addictive for sure, and for most of us it’s most blissful effects wear off too fast. But nature has given us this wonderful state of foolish, invincible, chemical-induced charm, and it reminds us that life is for the living, if we would just take the moment to breathe it in. More often than not though, we find ourselves falling out of love just as quickly. I mean, it’s easy to figure out why, when you first meet you tend to be on your best behavior, open, loving, caring and fun to be with but no one can sustain that sort of behavior forever. It would be exhausting and inevitably the arguing starts.
Sadly, the more we argue and the more we react from our ego wounded self, the more out of touch we become with our own true self, our soul, and the soul of our partner. You fell in love with each other’s essence, not with each other’s ego, especially this lashing wounded ego. In fact, most of us don’t like another person’s ego when it’s acting all irrational. Go figure. We learn to tolerate another person’s flaws, which is essential for a loving relationship, but what we like and love is that intangible “self-soul” found deep within the person. When it’s about ego, where once you felt deeply connected with your partner, now emotional and sexual disconnection may become the norm. Eventually you choose to either settle for a flat relationship or you move on, often cycling through the love to hate all over again with the next “love”. Because think about it, by the time most people hit splitsville, they actually hate each other because they can no longer see the inner self, the soul they fell in love with, they only see that shrieking shrew and that controlling arsehole we’ve spiraled down to.
How to not fall out of love? It’s a challenge but certainly possible, look at all the successful relationships around you. The way to fall in love and stay in love with someone is to take your snarky ego off your partner and place it firmly on yourself. Learn to take personal responsibility for your own feelings; they are after all, yours not theirs. And only through inner bonding and loving yourself are you capable of loving another. Because you have to “have” love for self before you can bring that love to someone else. Plain and simple, without self-love we try to “get” love by controlling the behavior of others, you know, those thoughts “if he loved me he would..” or “she doesn’t love me because she didn’t”.. When we already have love, we no longer depend on a partner to supply it, we give it to our self and the attention and love your partner gives to you is just icing on the cake. I know, a little high gravity for Friday, but the holidays are beginning and I know how this time of year often ends, disappointment sets in and faith and love waltz right out the door. Well, it’s a Friday, it must be date night, so I’m out of here. Heck, this date night I might even leave the spork at home, Spirit. Apparently they frown on sporks in eating establishments saying they inhibit true love from occurring. Geesh! Figures!
Hair: *Argrace, Momo **NEW**
Jewelry: !!SSD (Sax Shepherd’s Designs), Priest of Khepri **NEW**
Jacket: Sascha’s, Alaska Fur Coat **NEW**
Jeans: OVH, Blue jeans
Skin: Glam Affair, Sia
Pose: oOo Studios (includes seat)