Then We Became the People We Used to Warn Ourselves About

 

“The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.” ~ J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

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I’ve been thinking about the dreaded word again, it’s only natural, it being almost “that” holiday again. I know, I hate it when I do this. I think some of you hate it too. Love. Love is a subject that’s been trivialized, dramatized, glorified and traumatized, and that’s just on my blog. Heck, more than half the time I know I am half-deluded on exactly what it is, and isn’t. I reckon for the most part, we can’t see it if it slapped us upsides our head and yelled “I’m standing right here in front of you for crying out loud!” Because, gee, isn’t love supposed to knock us off our feet and make us swoon? Now Jay, I know it’s been a while, but some of my long time readers may remember him, he was certainly swoon worthy, at least Katy the wonder dog sure acted that way. But it wasn’t love, was it? Isn’t a guy supposed be all packaged neat in a tall, slim, witty, masculine [insert whatever adjective here] package? I think often we’ve all gotten so lost in the dream we fail to recognize it’s real version anymore.

Love is all around us, it always has been. It’s in the special efforts our friends make toward us, just for a smile. It’s in the laughter of a young child and in the faith they put in us that we will protect them above all costs. It’s most definitely in nature, the serenading birds, and the winds as they whisper their secrets through the trees, the sun on a wintry day as it bends low to kiss our faces warmly. It’s in the “how are you?” a complete stranger offers up as they pass us by, you know, those moments when they actually listen to your response. Love is all around us.

I’ve seen so many women dazed with this expectation of what love SHOULD be, sometimes myself included. We believe we “aren’t complete” without a man and so we grab and discard in the attempt to find the partner who will make us “whole.” Seriously, look in a full length mirror, I guarantee that’s not a part of a human looking back at you. We are born whole, along the way we removed little pieces and parts that we believe are lacking in our inane pursuit of being someone we perceive to be better, but underneath our misguided misconception, we are indeed, still whole. The problem with thinking someone else can make us whole is only we can put back the pieces we removed, we are the sole commanders of our own destiny’s. Only we can truly be our own soul mate.

The take from? Yeah, I suppose I’ve traveled this far, might as well kick it in. Lately, in my virtual life and my real one, I’ve seen quite a few women give themselves to men who clearly didn’t give a wooden nickel for them or in the politically correct side, weren’t as “invested” in (or for that matter even free to be with) them. They settled for pieces of a relationship thinking that’s all they could get/need/want. There is one thing I know with all of my heart. Love. A relationship should bring you joy, not every once in a while, but pretty much most of the time. Love never requires you to lose your voice, your dignity, or your choice, even if it’s the choice to agree this time. And most of all, when you bring your love to the table, the lover should allow you to bring all of you to the table, not just the pieces and parts they find “worthy” of them. The final and best part about love? It should leave you with the feeling it has somehow blossomed ten-fold within you, but then, that’s just my two cents on it. I know, I can be a silly romantic that way.

 

Outfit:

Hair: *Argrace*, Yuzu  **NEW**
Shirt: Seul, Pearl Tank  @Uber
Skirt: Seul, Bulma Skirt  @Uber
Necklace: Zibska, Zvonimira Deux @[event@1st]
Bag: [HANDverk], Stud Clutch
Shoos: Zibska, Isa
Eyemakeup: Zibska, Noir Limited  @Project Limited
Skin: Glam Affair,  Rose Arctic
Hands/Feet: SLink
Pose: Attitude Poses

6 thoughts on “Then We Became the People We Used to Warn Ourselves About

  1. I like it when you go off like this and I agree ” A relationship should bring you joy, not every once in a while, but pretty much most of the time. Love never requires you to lose your voice, your dignity, or your choice, even if it’s the choice to agree this time. And most of all, when you bring your love to the table, the lover should allow you to bring all of you to the table, not just the pieces and parts they find “worthy” of them. The final and best part about love? It should leave you with the feeling it has somehow blossomed ten-fold within you”… Love is accepting the person or people you chose to love or emotionally fall for so deep your not going anywhere completely. Flaws, issues, greatnesses, weaknesses the whole package. Though to be in love and for it to work you have to love yourself deeply and completely first …a step we all seem slow at.

    idk my 2 cents lol for no reason really.
    TY Cao!

  2. Like most, I started out as a child loving myself and trough the years as you said little pieces chipped and fell away until one day we come full circle “if we are so lucky” and we learn to love ourselves all over again. I for one have felt that deep suck the air right out of your lungs love. The problem was he did not love me as much, so as sad as it made me I left him. It took me almost as long as the relationship lasted to get past it, but I did. I learned along the way that I don’t need any man to complete me, but maybe some day I will find one to compliment me. I love me alone but I do long for the snuggles and cuddles on occasion, however; I am still perfectly imperfectly whole without it. I do have my friends, both in and out of SL………………….For now that is all I need. Love you dollface ❤

  3. Beautifully written, Cao. I read every word and agree with your every word. We spend so much time running around in silly circles looking for that perfect Love, when all along, just as you say, all we need to do is look into the mirror and reflected back to us, IS that perfect Love. We don’t require anyone to make us whole. LOVE LOVE LOVE this, Cao. Your depth of Soul is so beautiful to witness. May many Blessings befall you this day, and may Love in the Wind blow miracles to you! (((HUGS))) Amy

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