Know this: I am addicted to you. I have tasted your mind and I can’t forget it’s flavor ~unknown
Why are breakups so dam agonizing? Have you ever noticed just about everything around you reminds you of your lover? The song on the radio, a certain food you loved to share, the whiff of a stranger’s cologne as they pass you by. It’s no wonder we burst into tears so frequently after a break up. When we withdraw from a loved one your brain doesn’t give up, the basal ganglia overflows with dopamine making you actually crave them. In fact, it’s not unlike giving up sugar or nicotine. You crave them not “like” you are in addict, you actually are an addict. So much so, that often we do crazy idiotic things in the name of love to get our next “fix” of this person who broke our heart. Common sense-wise, how can that be? Don’t believe it’s true, all you have to do is pick up a paper or watch the news. It’s filled with stories of nightmares of love gone bad. I mean, I get it. Going from 12 emails, 125 texts, 3 phone calls daily to nothing, its heart breaking. In fact, it seems like a joke to be expected to be able to handle that. But you can’t find the center within yourself to laugh because the entire process isn’t the least bit funny. But you know what else isn’t funny? Disrupting your life everywhere else, skipping time with friends, refreshing your email, constantly checking FB and text’s looking for some beacon of hope, some semblance of a change in heart that dimes to donuts isn’t coming.
Sure, it’s easy to go cold turkey for a day or two, maybe even three, but there always comes that one moment of weakness, crackberry clasped tightly in your hands, willing him to call, manufacturing reasons to call him, you do still have that thing of his, that what-cha-ma-call-it thingy he can’t possibly live without. He’s just forgotten he can’t live without it, oh and without you, because that’s what this is all about, he forgot he can’t live without you. How do we beat this cold turkey? With earnest pursuit I would hope, and the way stalking comes up so frequently these days, I think I’d fast track this before it’s your face on the nightly news. Right now, not down the road, pack up their chit and either rely on your good friends at the post office to return it, or have a close friend drop it off but get those ticking time bombs out of the way because they can set you back quicker than offering a beer to an alcoholic. When you reach your weak points, those crazy weak moments when you crave that man like your next pack of cigarettes, have an arsenal handy. Keep an arsenal of distractions, a friend on call, an ice cold shower, heck, I reckon my fave is a list of the chit he used to do that really pist me off. That one’s always helpful, I mean there are only so many mommy duty’s you can do for a man before it begins to feel like “indentured servant,” right? Cut off all communication and dwell on his negative’s for a bit until one day, you wake up and you can breathe. I mean really breathe, for the first time in a very long time. It’s not some new fangled notion, you too deserve an earnest and grateful love and obviously this one wasn’t quite it. Turning back to a man who doesn’t appreciate you to begin with is a fools dream and seriously, don’t you deserve someone’s entire heart? I know, it’s easier to fall backwards than to fall forwards, but I truly believe all the glory is in falling forward. I know, a little high gravity for a Friday and all, but I have a friend who is going through something and just thought I’d throw this out there for her, and for you, if it’s you too. Just know, this will get better, this will get over. I know, I’ve been there. It will be over and with wisdom your dignity will be intact.