“I am Nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect.”  ~ Dandi Daley Mackall, Love Rules    


I am going to run off at the keyboard a little today, not too much mind you, I am getting out of here and making another three day weekend of this. I’ve found I kind of like those. I am too much of a workaholic to leave for weeks on end, but three days are just enough time not to feel claustrophobic and ready to spork someone. But right now I want to comment, I think a lot of bloggers know I read a lot of blogs. And when I am not reading, I am looking at all of your incredible pictures. You are all amazing! I don’t know if you ever hear this, I know I certainly don’t very often, at least not from some of the people I want to have this affirmation from. But I want you to know, I really enjoy you! I love how you style, I love how you introduce me to new designers, I love your pictures, your song choices (those who have them) and your words! Your words! How I love those the most. I’ve read poems, short stories, articles of view, put together it’s like cozying down with a dog-eared favorite magazine and all the bloggers I follow are contributors. You guys are my Second Life virtual Vogue magazine!  I read things that make me smile, laugh out loud, and sometimes even sadden or make me angry.


Today, one thing in particular made me sad, and I won’t mention it other than it was a disagreement between two individuals that ended with one muting the other. I hate that feature of Second Life. Don’t get me wrong, I understand it’s purpose, it’s to protect the user from unwarranted harassment, but sadly most people’s knee jerk reaction during an argument is to mute the person they are arguing with. This doesn’t solve the issue, make it go away, or make you feel much better I wouldn’t think. In fact, I think all it gets you is dead space and the loss of a person who could one day be very important to you. When you mute them, this is not longer possible, it’s as if you grabbed a weapon and vaporized them from your hemisphere. Can’t you be content to say, I have nothing left to say and just walk away? I have always said I have never muted a person, to be honest, I am not 100% sure how, but when I checked recently I had muted people (and objects but that’s another story).. In my seven years, I have muted three to be exact, one person I didn’t even remember who she was, how important could it have been to mute them? The second was a wanna be suitor who apparently didn’t know the meaning of not interested, but even him, I’m not sure he wouldn’t have wandered off on his own to someone who was. The third person was the worst I am ashamed to admit. One of the times I was having a gentle “debate” on Facebook with a rather “cantankerous” ah ‘ell, I’ll say it, a bullying man with a lot of drama queen tendencies, one of the people who hangs on (or is it hangs themselves?) on his every word, unfriended me on Facebook and inworld and in a snit I did my best “Oh yeah?” and took 20 minutes to figure out how and muted her out of spite. Did I feel great about it? No, I felt guilty, it’s totally against all I believe in and it solved nothing. Why didn’t it solve anything? Because I took away her ability to coexist in my world and me in hers in spite of differences of opinion. And isn’t that what the world is all about? People with nothing in common learning to co-exist in harmony?

Anyway, I hope you enjoy your weekend! As for me, I have to log in for a little bit and figure out how to unmute a few people.

Outfit One
Hair: Argrace, Seri
Hat: =zenith, Summer hat @Uber
Dress: *Nya’s, beach dress @ Event @1st
Bracelet: .random matter, Norbu @ Uber
Bag: (TokiD), elephant bag

Outfit Two
Hair: Argrace, Seri
Glasses: [Steinwerk], Etienne
Dress: Appear, Barbara dress @Event @1st
Bag: [Handverk], Flamingo clutch

Ear Wax

8 thoughts on “Nobody

  1. Well we are mere mortals and definitely not perfect – I let myself get all pissy over one of my SL kids friend who was disrespectful – I should have known better before kicking and banning him (millennial vs 40 something can be toxic if I allow it) – big sigh – and yah I feel awful for not being able to overlook my pettiness – sheesh thanks for this post – lots of food for thought and I’m gonna eat humble pie and apologize!!!

    1. hahaha I adore you Miya! And you got bigger breeches than me because I ain’t sayin sorry for something SHE instigated, I’ll just quietly unmute her. 😉 Maybe one day I will be as grown up as you are. ❤ Have a lovely weekend!

    1. gosh, me too. My friends list is a gazillon and 5 people, all the way back to day one. lol and I LOVE YOUR BLOG TOO!! (I think I was thinking more along the lines of designers whose items you buy and blog and show them the link, but your remark means more anyway. ❤ Love you girly cue, enjoy your weekend! xox

  2. I have a lot of people on mute…mostly those who voice in public stores or those who use tons of gestures. However, there are a few that I have muted because I feel like those people would be too toxic to have around me.

    One person picked apart everything that I did in Second Life – said it can’t always be “Moni’s World” (in reference to my blog) and how the reason why I do business and model in SL was because I couldn’t do it in real life. We settled down after a while, but after a few days I had to mute her. I just didn’t feel good having someone who felt that way about me on my “friends” list.

    Another person I muted because after I gave her constructive feedback about her business, she pretended to be okay with it. But after I left her store, she kicked me from her store group and took me off her friends list. She then sent me a note card saying we couldn’t work together anymore. When I went to send her one back, she had put herself on busy mode. To me that was the equivalent of someone covering their ears and going “Nyah Nyah I can’t hear you!”

    Don’t get me wrong – I don’t mute everyone with whom I have gotten into an argument. However, I believe that in order to learn how to co-exist in harmony, people have to desire to do so first. If they don’t, then I think it’s okay to put them aside. I had to learn that, for I too feel bad when I have to mute people.

    1. Yes I can definitely see that, I think muting that designer would be more of sparing yourself from harassment. I once had a go in with a designer (the problem being he didn’t know English) I was telling him his folder was mismarked, i.e. the red folder contained blue.. and somehow he thought I said I was going to steal his designs and sell them (not sure I believe his excuse), but anyway he banned me from his SIM. I didn’t mute him, but if he had gone around telling everyone I was trying to do this, I probably would have figured out how to mute him, but in the end the loss was his, he lost a paying customer and a person willing to pay to blog his stuff AND I blogged the incident which come to think of it, was probably worse than muting him… As for the gestures and things, I’ve never thought to do that, I always just assumed they were young and would one day grow out of the need for excessive attention. 😉

  3. I have never muted someone. I try not to do things in SL that I would not do in RL…although there have been times in RL when a mute button would have been nice to have, just like those sliders in appearance :).
    Cao you have inspired me. This is a very blog worthy topic 🙂

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